Stress test

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What is it about our times that has made life so 'stressful'? Are times more difficult? Or is it that we have learnt to respond to situations differently? Well, it is a bit of both. No matter who you are — a full time worker, a parent, or even a movie star juggling 10 commitments — there's this sinking idea that stress is insurmountable. Here's the truth: You can't beat stress like an opponent in a tennis match, nor do you triumph over stress or crush it like a glass. Instead, you learn how to change your response to it, so you can control how upset you get at any given moment. Remember, the same boiling water which hardens the egg, softens a potato. Here are seven ways to free yourself from stress responses.

IDENTIFY THE SOURCES

The thought patterns that get you stuck are known as thinking traps, and mind reading is one of them. It assumes a few things. One, that if someone valued you, they would know what you're thinking, and second, that it's everyone else's job to anticipate your needs and wants. This creates stress and tension even in relationships. So, open your mouth. Communicate precisely what you need and why before you get annoyed. You can cut those emotional responses off at the pass, and change the nature of your present.

CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Look away from your screen every 20 minutes at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. Shifting your gaze (plus standing up for a few minutes every hour) can help break a stressful mind set, and give you a physical and emotional, shift in perspective. Talk with a colleague for a bit. Just that brief moment can carry you through a day and build your resilience against future stress.

RELY ON IMAGINATION

Think of a bitter, negative thought or habit into awareness, then picture it getting smaller and smaller, until it disappears like the setting sun. "Do this several times with memory, get into the details, until you notice that it no more concerns you. The visualisation technique breaks the grip of stressful thoughts and habits. It's a simple, powerful tool, as you use the power of your imagination to shift how you perceive the world.

BE HOPEFUL

Do you find yourself thinking, that you are helpless, that nothing can change the miseries of your life. When you catch yourself in this thought, stop and acknowledge the purpose of assuming the worst. What does holding onto this assumption do for you? Do you need it any more? Always know there is hope. You don't have to have all the answers to be able to take care of yourself and be open to the possibility of change. Be secure in the knowledge that you are fine where you are, you are meant to be where you are and things will change for you, when you change.

ADAPT TO THE STRESSOR

Try to view stressful situations from a more positive perspective. Look at the big picture. Ask yourself what are the lessons you are meant to learn from it. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. The goal should never be perfection. It should always be progress.